Fall, Get Up….repeat!

You know I can’t remember how many failures that I have had in life.  Honestly too many to count.  I never kept track. However they are in the back of my mind.   I’ve been falling a lot trying new things wakeboarding and found myself only thinking about the falls.  Thinking about my fails!  Why????  Well for starters if it weren’t for my many falls I wouldn’t learn anything new.  Not to mention what a crappy way to think.  If you feel like beating yourself up just think of the many fails you’ve had.  How can I possibly move forward in life if I continue to think of all of my fails, or the possibility of future fails.  Those fails just make the successes so much sweeter, so much more deserved.  Its the getting back up after a fall that makes us feel like a rock star or super hero!  So rather than focusing on the falls I’m gonna relish in the fact that I got back up and that I tried!!!

Matt and I are getting ready to take some risks as I mentioned in the last post about a life in Boler Trailer.  Taya my girl is taking a risk heading off to university to begin a life of her own.  Tristan… well he is still pretty fearless but risks his ego getting bruised as well as his body when he tries new stuff on his wakeboard and skateboard.  My kids and husband inspire me to take chances and try new things.  We are lucky to have the support of each other.

With only a few weeks of summer I invite you to eat a big shit sandwich!
Try something new.
Toss the fear of failing aside and enjoy a new challenge.
It could be anything from trying a new sport to sharing your art with the world, or trying a new recipe.

Not sure who said it but “the only chances you regret are the ones you didn’t take”


1st comp and I ate it hard before I even got up on my board.  Hahaha!!!

1st comp and I ate it hard before I even got up on my board. Hahaha!!!

Our Life is about to change

Summer couldn’t have come any sooner for this girl.  I’m a water through and through and not much can keep me out of the water.  Thankfully I have a husband that doesn’t mind sand all over the car, on the bottom of bags, clinging to towels, in the bathtub, and sometimes even in our bed.

As much as I love summer and everything that comes with it…..fresh fruit and veggies, longer days, living in bathing suits, bonfires, camping, bbq’s, wakeboarding, and feeling the fresh air on your skin, this summer has been a count down of sorts.  Taya our beautiful and very smart daughter will be heading off to Guelph University.  Every week that goes by I can’t help but think how many more weeks we have left until she moves into her dorm.  Its always there in the back of my mind.  In some ways I wish the day would just come.  This count down thing is like taking a band aide off slowly.  On the other hand I wonder where the hell the time went.  The days where my Taya bean needed me to read her a story before bed, to walk her down the street to school, to hold her hand, to teach her not to talk to strangers, the endless cuddles, the face masks, the ice cream after a break up, the rides to the movies,  to her driving to the movies with her friends in the back seat, to picking out a prom dress, buying her a grad present.  It all goes by in a blink.  I wonder if I told that I loved her enough.  Did I teach her to lead and not follow?  Does she truly know that her dad and I only want her to be happy?  Cause time seems likes its running out.  Well if she starts her university career off by picking up her towel off of the bath room floor she will be off to a good start….hahaha!

With Taya on the her way to university and Matt turning 40 just a few days ago I began to think about how much all of our lives are about to change.  Tristan wont have his sister around to bug and blame things on.  I’ll have one less mouth to feed and a few less towels to pick up.  Tristan will be in grade 8 and is starting to push away and gravitates towards his friends, leaving me with too much time on my hands!  Thank god for those adult colouring books.  Our large house seems to be getting bigger and bigger.  I don’t like that and either does my Matt.

So Matt and I have this dream.  Having kids so young will give us the privilege  of be young empty nesters.  We gave up our youth and have dedicated our lives to being parents for the past 18 years.  Which have been awesome and of course it goes without saying that the kids are our earth and we are the sun and moon rotating around them and will continue to do so for the rest of our lives.  However we are thinking that it might be ok to be a lil selfish for a few years.  The dream will start in about 5-6 years…..which will fly by.  We will sell our house and just about everything we own to live in our Boler trailer for as long as possible….well until the money runs out.  Since Matt knows just how much I love the water he thought we should just follow the water/coast and see where it takes us.  Not much of a plan but thats what makes it so incredible.  We just sold our boat and our VW and bought a 1970’s Boler that we are restoring.  So we are starting to make steps, little one but steps none the less.

I’m actually excited to be growing old.  I’m 37  and married to an amazing 40 year old man who loves me.  Who wouldn’t want to grow old when you have someone to grow old with!


Our Lil Nest Egg

Our Lil Nest Egg

To My Husband Matthew

Matthew is not only my super hot hubby, he is also my best friend.  Sometimes my only friend.
He is my memory when I seem to have lost it.
He is my eyes when I can’t see clearly.
He is my confidence when I need it most.
He is my voice when I have no words.
He is my bravery when all I feel is fear.
He is my laughter when I’m deeply sad.
He is my strength when I feel pain.
He is my song that makes me dance.
He is my blanket that keeps me warm.
He is simply my everything!

I suffer from anxiety.  Some days can be very very bad.  Some days I can’t breath.  I’m overly sensitive.  It seems as though almost anything can set me off.  I cry.  ALOT!  When its bad its very bad.  Even though I tell him over and over again that it has nothing to do with him or the kids, I can see how much my bad days hurt them.  Matthew has managed to see past my flaws…actually he has found a way not to just to live with them but embrace them.  There are days where I feel I don’t deserve him.

On the bad days like when his family showed up 4 hours late for a Christmas dinner that we were hosting, I was so utterly hurt.  This dinner that I had been planning since we had his family over at Thanksgiving. I really didn’t think that I would be able to face them once they showed up.  My breathing became labored and I went up to my room.  Shortly after Matthew found me, he wrapped his arms around me.  He held me tightly and just kept telling me that he loved me, over and over again.  It didn’t take the hurt away but it did remind me that I have him!  My everything!  I have him!  He is mine and I am his.

Matthew I love you more than anyone could possibly love someone.
Should the day ever come that my memory decides to take a long nap please remember one thing.
You are my everything!
I love you!
Everyday I love you!



My Everything

My Everything


Where the wind blows is where you’ll find us!!!!!

I’m long over due to write a post.  When summer comes to end I get this weird feeling like I am totally lost.  The sailboat is out of the water, wakeboarding is coming to an end, and my shorts have been put away.  We just celebrated Thanksgiving with our family.  Matt and I hosted this years meal and while I totally love having our house filled with family I can’t seem to let go of summer.  I’ve actually started worrying about what to write on my blog during the winter…..I don’t embrace winter in the same way that I do summer….so I’m worried that I wont have anything to say.  However all this over thinking reminded of of the last time Matt and I took out the Chubby Bean for a sail before taking it out for the season.

Matt and I packed up a picnic and headed down to the Marina.  The wind was pretty strong and Matt’s not much of a sailor but he tries because he loves me.  We got the sails all ready started the motor and let the dock lines go and we slipped out of the dock.  As we were passing by the mill and heading out to the lighthouse I decided that it was too windy for us to have a relaxed sail.  So we decided to set our anchor and have our picnic on the inside of the break wall where we were more protected and could enjoy our lunch.  Matt set the anchor……only it didn’t set.  He tried to set it again…only it didn’t set.  I tried to start motor…only it wouldn’t start.  Matt and I switched places, I pulled up the anchor and found that it was covered in seaweeds no way would it ever catch like that.  Matt kept trying the motor but it just wouldn’t go.  As I mentioned it was pretty windy.  Before we knew it we were drifting into the shipping lanes of the canal.  Not to sound dramatic but if we didn’t do something quickly we would be blown into the rocks lining the canal entrance.  I decided it was time to give up on the motor.  We had drifted to an area that was to deep for our anchor to reach.  At this point Matt is beginning to panic and my heart was starting to pick up the pace as well.  I kept thinking about what station I would need to be on the radio to call for help…how long it would take for help to come….how long it would take for us to bang into the rocks or cross the path of a ship.  Then I looked up and saw a lil fishing boat.  I gave them a quick wave thinking that they may have noticed that we were in trouble.  The man on the fishing boat walked to the bow of his boat and began to pull up his anchor.  This is when Matt got freaked out and yelled “Thats it!!!  He’s going to head in and leave us here! Oh Shit!!!”

Well Matt was wrong the fishing boat came to our rescue and towed us to safety…..which happened to be the docks along the canal on West Street.  In return for their help we handed over our chocolate chip cookies from our picnic and they head back out to catch some fish.  This man and his grandson helped us no questions asked and with a smile on their faces.  They didn’t ask for anything in return and they will probably never fully understand how grateful we were that they were there to help.

During the craziness I couldn’t help but think that this nice day we had planned was quickly turning to shit, that Matt who isn’t a big fan of the boat may never want to step foot on it again.  However after our rescuers left us at the public docks Matt and I pulled out our picnic.  We sat on the boat sipping our lemonade and munching on veggies and biting into our sandwiches while watching ships crawl under the bridges and slip silently through the canal.  My mom ended up seeing us parked at the dock and joined us for lunch.  This day That I thought was going to be awesome then thought was turning to shit actually turned out to be awesome.  I’ve always known that whatever the world throws at Matt and I we will be fine.  After we ate our lunch and said goodbye to my Mom we tried the motor and it started.  Matt and I headed back to the Marina with full bellies and a huge smiles on our faces.  We passed the mill waving at the guys working and feeling very small next to the huge building all while laughing at the adventure we just had aboard the Chubby Bean!

No Matter where the wind may take us, we are just going to go with it.  We have each other and really what more than that do we need?



Lemons to Lemonade

Lemons to Lemonade